Isn't Huiting sooo great?? MUACKS!!! BIG LOVE!!! :):):):):)

I want to complain. to seek affirmation. so say i miss you. But I don't know how.
I kinda forgot. I type smses and delete them. thinking what should I say? I see how everyone blathers about their life. I just can't seem to put it in the same light and get the same attention, sympathy, help. I'm used to listening. Not the other way round. I can't even make my bf understand. Haha. Futile. It's quite lonely in hall. Ahhhhhh why was friends never a problem last time? But now I'm all aloof and different hmmmm. And studies aren't really all smooth sailing. haha.

romeo save me i've been feeling so alone

The past few months of increasing neglect has melted away.

You make the loneliness easier to bear. ~Fixing a broken heart by indecent obsession.

I'm so mad so mad.

Ask my dad buy me something ask so hard also cannot.

Whywhywhy. why he buys things for work say give clients he is able to and knows how
But when I ask him to buy say dunno. tell him what then everything also cannot.

ANGRY

I think I'm quite gift orientated. I'm so unhappy when my birthday comes. I wish it doesn't come at all.

I wanna plan a BBQ birthday party and invite my close friends who have no time to see me.

I shall blow balloons and get a nice cake and get my favourite food.

Maybe it'll be at ECP and I'll decorate the place so nicely.

Shhh what nice will it be if I keep saying and its not a surprise anymore haha...

I type messages to you. and I delete them again. Thinking, yea I should bother you all about my burdens and problems. I have to try to get over them myself. Shouldn't think of burdening others. But how am I to keep in touch again? I kinda forgot how...

Hazel is wilting.

i hate chem so much :(

Yay so I did watch 9 on the 09/09/09 at 9pm with my darling. heheh. I miss holding him. OOps. And miss alot of other things lolx.

Sing your way home at the end of the day. smile every mile chase the shadows away...

Yelps for helps. doesn't that rhyme? I just thought of it.

I want to watch the movie "9" today. the 09/09/09 at 9 pm.

I want more time.

I wish there wasn't a meeting today for little reason but that we didn't finish discussion the last meeting.

I figure that this meeting is pointless and they can just inform me later. But I still can't go to watch. Because hall is so far away and I don't like traveling at night. I wish I knew what to do for my Yakuza and Stereotypes project.

Uni is so tough. Time is of the essence. Its 830 now and i'm planning my day ahead. I want to return home now. But i'm dawdling. great. I realized that there's lab tmr and I didn't read the really chim reports before hand. Great there's chem lectue tmr as well..... UGH. Haven't even finished week 2 readings for Samurai and this is week 5. blergh....

I'm complaining.

Are u listening?

Do we need a class to actually have friends to study with?

Yes is does make it easier. But only a little. To what extent can being in a class ensure that you'll have good friends within that class? or even to be able to communicate and bond with them...

Where have you gone? where have you gone? and you? and you?




Where have I gone?

Uni's a toughie.

Woohooo... back from camps. Its been a freaking long week for me so far.



Maybe its fatigue, maybe its h1n1, or maybe its hand foot mouth disease. Because there's people in my camp with those illnesses. :(



Gosh I hope its just fatigue.



I spent 23 to 28 at hall camp, then 29 to 1 for SOW. Total of 10 days doing roughly the same orientation camp. It was fun. :) though I wonder why I always don't get the really rah-rah hyper groups but the "nua" ones. especially the guys are really not rah-rah. Hmmm but its not a big deal. I do have good friends from my OGs.



My fever's really high. like 40degrees. ha but I slept the whole day so I'm feeling much better now. I like my hall room alot. I'm trying to keep it neat and tidy! Yay.

I realised the last time my dad watched me doing what I love to do best was in p3. Or maybe that was imaginary too.

To go back in time.. mmm this would be one good reason too.

What to do...

I wonder how will I be like in uni. Will the same thing happen as what has happened in schools? Of course except in primary school. I wonder what my new friends will be like, what sort of people will I mingle with. Hmmm its coming pretty fast okay... Shall I be myself? What is my usual self? or shall I improve myself, and be a better me. And what shall I improve? I don't really want the same things happenning again. Must keep in touch with my choir peeps leh. Hard though. Busified and being reserved this week...

Ahhhh Orientation camps anyone? FOS? Lolx.

Beach anyone? hehehe

I should carry a freaking 20kg bag of rice and walk about for 8 km before I talk. So am i going to do that? I cannot understand. Don't think I ever will. UGH. yes yes I've heard everything over again and again. Maybe I've selective hearing. Nope. Cause I can give u back the reasons... I just can't comprehend... UGH.

surprise... hahaha... probably my first total flop. Hope the next time isn't. I'm putting in alot hehehe...

Gosh I went to Bras Basah today... Spent, Splurged? Ooh its SOOOOO nice there... Second hand book stores, Music shops, Art shops... Except that the clay shops are gone... I totally miss ceramic clay. Its like immersing myself in the art crowd. With the schools nearby. Hehe I feel so un-informed beside there when I was looking for paint. Cause there were SOOOO many different types of paint. Heeeh.

A place I liked was the Cat Socrates. Mmmm. Random shop. Retro toys, Notebooks, Stationary, Music, Cafe. Chic and quite... Except for the fact that the sales people were prc's... Its often a lil bit of a turn off. Hee. Soooorry.

I hate it when people can't balance their time and spend sufficient time with me. Especially my Mom... Ah I took for granted the times when she wasn't working. =X

Ooh I was scrutinizing my photo below. and I was wondering what the dots across the photo was and now I realise they are cable cars! Such a long time since I sat one. Rawr.

Now I count the hours and the days and the weeks...

Passion and silence every word every line a measure.
Its the science of the soul.
~Sophia, Nerina Pallot

Ahhh... 4 days of torture! Haha I'm not used to this yet. I'm not understanding okie? lolx

I've got plenty of time to reminisce and wonder if choices and actions I did were the right ones...
Hanging about with ajchoir peeps brings back happy and yet some very strange memories lolx... Its a lil before this period last year...

I wonder what if... What if I hadn't been so blind/blur? I could've seen the many signs. So many... Maybe if so then my decisions and choices wouldn't have been so rushed... But then again it is each step, each action and choice we make, no matter how wrong or how right that moulds us to become who we are right now and bring us to where we are now. Yuppx... just reminicing... How would things have turned out otherwise? I still see possibilities... But there are no chances of possiblity is there? I'm quite sorry.



Ahhh I just want to concentrate on myself and what makes me happy now. Like meeting up with everyone hehe...



This shirt says Hazel eyed Hottie. WHICH IS SOOO COOL! I've looked for it for so long. :P